When it comes to dealing with emotions, it could arguably unanimously agreed, there is one emotion that cannot be controlled…, the emotion of love. This got me curious to find out if it’s actually possible to somehow just stop yourself…, from falling in love.
Brain science tells us that love is a driving force like thirst which is pretty self-explanatory as to why it becomes impossible to avoid it or not think about it. If you collect all the logical points about why people fall in love, there are only two scenarios which make the most sense.
The first scenario is pretty straightforward where two people are so similar to each other that it becomes a no brainer for them to end up together. If that’s the case with you, then you’re probably stuck and you definitely wouldn’t want it any other way.
The second scenario is a bit complex to understand, where two people are extremely wildly opposite to each other to the extent that it’s impossible to imagine them ending up together. But the thing which drives them to be with each other is that they look at the other person as an extension to their personality.
In a workplace setting, we have Lee and Zara. Lee is depressed and keeps his feelings blocked. He doesn’t want to have a family or a life with his mind set only on his work. Lee believes that his destiny wants him to be miserable in order to be successful.
Zara on the other hand is extravagant, beautiful, full of joy and knows how to be happy. Emotionally, she’s been through tough times as well, but she knows how to look forward and move on. Zara believes love and marriage is overrated and the only thing that matters in the end is a solid partnership created by honest friends where two people desire nothing more except each other’s company.
Every day, these two meet, talk and understand what the other person is about. But because of their past experiences, they’ve placed a blockage around their minds to stop themselves from feeling anything for each other. This technique is completely useless, because they see the other one as the missing part of their personality which they subconsciously desire.
Lee needs Zara because she can logically show him the way to happiness and Zara needs Lee because he understands her logic about partnership.
If they genuinely want to try not to fall in love with the other one, there is only one possible scientifically backed way of doing so. Lee will have to disconnect himself from Zara.
He will have to cut off all communications, no Facebook, Whatsapp, Messenger or phone calls. He’s going to have to resign from his job, settle for another company and never see Zara for the rest of his life.
And the thing about Lee is that despite any kind of resistance, he is more than capable of distancing himself. It’s what he’s been doing for all of his life now. Moving away from important people with whom he could have meaningful relationships and simply shoving his head deep into his work.
But the biggest twist in all of this is that Lee will just not do it. Lee will never disconnect himself from Zara. Her happiness is just too contagious for him and so Lee will finally embrace this relation that will drive him out of depression.
But as six months will pass by, the real twist will be written. Zara will disconnect herself from Lee because she will find out the darkest truth about him. When given the choice between love and greatness, Lee will always choose greatness even if it means he will have to stay alone and be miserable for the rest of his life.
Zara will move on in her journey becoming part of people’s lives who deserve her happiness and joy while Lee will be left alone in the darkness accepting his destiny of achieving success…, but at great cost.
How not to fall in love, is probably not a smart question to ask. In the end, no matter what you do, you will not be able to stop yourself from experiencing it. At some point or the other, someone will come along and finally make you feel something. But how you look at it and the choices you make with it will always be in your hands.
If you want to understand the complexity of this emotion, try to understand the story of Lee and Zara. Their story is the prime example of all the things that can go wrong in a psychotic friendship and all the things that can go right…, in the perfect partnership.
Love has always been a complicated topic that I wanted to understand and tackle in of my videos.
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